Saturday, February 10, 2007

...I turn everything over...=completely random thoughts

...honestly I'm sick of who I have become. Is it really me? I don't know. Am I having fun. Of course. Do my actions represent my faith. Absolutely not. That's where I need to be revived. I know I can be rebellious in a good way and I want to, but maybe it's not rebellion anymore with me, better yet be it adventure. Beyond belief I want to skydive and experience those extreme sports, mountain climbing, wakeboarding, cliffjumping. Those activities to me are what takes my breath away. All this stuff in my life right now, I'm realizing, is all just filler for true happiness. I'm alone yes, am I using that as an excuse for any of my actions, sometimes maybe but it's just because there's no point in being rebellious anymore with me because once you start you can't stop and it doesn't represent who I am. I love. I lie. I care. I hurt. I do everything everyone else does but for me that isn't enough. Yes I am a thinker and sorry if that annoys you(but you can deal), thats how I roll. It just seems to me that life's temptations are so planned out to get to us that why should I even fall for that deception. Yet I do b/c like I said I'm human. But I can avoid my own downfall, if I learn to live, live with the regrets I have, live with the happiness a personal relationship with my Savior provides, live with letting go somethin that needs to be let go at this time to find the answer to the future, live with all this. I know who I am. I'm ordinary. I'm average. But my hearts not, my love's not, and most definitely my faith is not. My heart yearns for love and I'm here and will be waiting for anyone that wants to confide in me but I will say my piece b/c that's how we all grow. So at this moment I want to be real with you, i miss things when everything was simple. Who doesn't. But i realized life's not meant to be simple, b/c that difficulty is what gives greater happiness and satisfaction of heart. I'll live my life, but think about certain things everyday. I just want to let you know, everyone and a certain someone that I care(even if i say it enough), but it's not a regular care, it's Michael Tropea's heart, one that is different and who dares to adventure even if I'm ordinary. But I love it. Take care and God Bless....

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