Thursday, June 21, 2007

It's Been Awhile...

Lifehouse - Broken

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like You've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In Your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to You

The broken locks were a warning You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm hanging on another day just to see what You will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words You say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In Your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to You

I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on to You

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Well the summer is finally here. Alot has changed since my last post about hmm lets say about 4 months ago. First and foremost, school is over with which is kind of a bittersweet feeling. I loved it, yet wanted to come back home, yet find myself anxious to go back. Overall, it is definitely the place God has intended for me at this point in my life. I have really enjoyed this past month of summer b/c I've gotten a chance to meet so many ppl, have time to grow friendships, and have had time to grow my dependency on my faith. Now for the meaning of the above song.

These past months have been a challenge, both relationally and spiritually. I have come to the realization that I'm so undeserving of the grace I've been blessed with. Be it friends or the grace God has provided, I am constantly failing in areas in my life. But you know what, I'm fine with that. It makes me humble, makes me aware. This awareness has given way to my new perspective on faith, freshness. Freshness is characterized as something that is healthy and ready. That's what I want to be whenever the time comes. I realize I have screwed up in various areas of relationships, pride, and self-reliance, but from reading the Word I find out that today is the only day that matters because I have a new, clean slate. God has definitely showed me that healing of pain can definitely be done if you trust in Him and as of late that's what I've been doing. I've opened up to my mom more lately and my relationship is growing there. She advises me to move on, meet other ppl, date, and just enjoy it. I think I'm at that point now. It's been a while but I think I'm almost there. Having fun with life, don't take things too serious, and just let God lead me. I'm broken yes, and I'm glad I'm constantly reminded that because it keeps me seeing the glory and perfection of Christ. I screwed up in various areas but the ones that ultimately love you are the one's that care about the person you are today and don't look at the past. I'm becoming that way and forgiveness is what I'm constantly working at.

Like the bridge of the above song states, "the broken lights on the freeway have left me here alone. I may have lost my way now, but I haven't lost my way home." I'll always know where to turn and I'm thankful for the family, friends, and God's grace on my life.

So here I stand transparent, humbled, and happy. Life is good and I can't wait to see what's in store for my future. But I realize today is just that today. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today. Right now I'm thankful for my breathe, thankful for my past mistakes on which I continuously learn from, and thankful for not knowing what tomorrow brings. God Bless

Michael Tropea....

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